Chrono Crossover: Adjective Noun Chapter 7


Marle grasped it before Crono did. "So this guy plans on pulling Lavos from the Testicle so that he can save the planet?" Lucca nodded; she resigned herself to the fact that Marle would never be able to say "Tesseract" half an hour ago at "tetris cat." From there it had gotten steadily worse.

Crono scratched his armpit.

"No, no. We'd never be able to stop Lavos this time; his destructive power was increased a thousand fold. We'd be obliterated before we could even approach his head. I have a better plan; all we need to do is stop Skippy's device. According to Gasper, his lab is in a forest on the southern continent. Just a quick flight in Epoch and a little under 500 years in the future and we're there."

Crono picked his nose and showed Lucca the results of his nasal expedition.

"Well, I do suppose we're rushing a bit. But I think it's important that we get this done quickly." Marle nodded in agreement.

"I don't particularly like the idea of waiting around while someone resurrects Lavos and makes him even more powerful, even if it won't be for another 500 years." Crono shrugged and did the Twist.

"No, I don't think it's necessary for us to drag any of the others into this. I am anxious to get it done, however. Robo vanished after he explained what was going on to Marle. I think he's been obliterated from existence." Lucca didn't feel too particularly sad at this. They were, after all, going to bring him back before too long.

Crono beat his chest and dropped to the ground, twitching.

"Yes, let's go."

Skippy finished his work and looked at his watch. April 17. It's not that he was dead-on with his estimate. Instead he had looked to the future to see when he'd be finished. He worked well when given a deadline.

"Okay, Skip, I'm all done over here. Primary power generator is warming up. We should be at 100% operation in fifteen minutes." Of course, hiring help was also a good way to go about things.

"Great, thanks Fred. Are we within tolerances?" Fred looked at his instrumentation.

"Everything's a-okay." Skippy looked at his instruments as well.

"Looks good here, too. Everything's under control."

Just then, the door exploded.

Immediately Skippy hit the alarm button. A loud klaxon sounded in the lab, alerting security. "Fred, go check it out!" Hiring help was one thing, but minions was another. Evil was on a budget.

"Yes sir!" Fred grabbed a rifle off the wall and started running towards the door. When he got there, he saw Crono holding the Rainbow. "Who the devil are you?" Crono did a pirouette.

"Well, you're not going to stop us!" Fred swung the rifle at Crono, hoping to smash the butt into Crono's temple. Crono dodged quickly!

Using his momentum to his advantage, Crono swung the Rainbow at the Lab Technician.


938 HP of damage to the Lab Technician! The Lab Technician became tame!

The loud alarm attracted the attention of Skippy's landlord, who entered from the side entrance with a shotgun. "Skippy, what in tarnation is going on in here?" He spotted Lucca and Marle. "Hey, y'all ain't supposed to be here!" Landlord fired a shotgun! Just missed!

Lucca, naturally, was not one who enjoyed being shot at.

Lucca tried PSI Flare Omega!

A dazzling pyrotechnics display erupted, focusing on the landlord, who ignited like a Buddhist monk in Saigon.

3982 HP damage to the Landlord! The Landlord stopped moving!

Crono and his friends gained 39856 experience each. Lucca's level is now 99! Maximum HP went up by 3! Marle's level is now 99! Maximum HP went up by 2! That rocks! Maximum IQ went up by 7! The enemy left a present. Inside the present, there was a Cookie! Marle took it.

No problem here.

As Fred slumped to the floor, Crono eyed the countdown clock on the wall. Whatever it was counting down to, there was only seven minutes left.

"Who the blazes are you?" It was Skippy, who was moving towards him with a look of anger on his face. "What gives you the right to barge in here like that?"

Crono tugged on his right ear.

"What? Steal third?"

Crono shook his head emphatically and touched his nose, then made a wavy gesture with his hand. Lucca and Marle exchanged looks and sighed. Crono always wanted to explain things.

"Oh, you're here to stop me. Why? Don't you understand that this is what the planet wants? What the planet needs? Humanity is a parasitic species engineered by Lavos to assist him in absorbing the resources of this world. Even if he's gone, we continue his work!"

Crono did the Robot.

"Of course I know I'm right! I've researched this for fifteen years! There's no other possibility. I've seen the future. Within two thousand years, the planet will be utterly dead, incapable of supporting any life. Instead of a relatively quick end for humanity, which Lavos originally brought, you've condemned man to a long, slow slide towards a slow and painful death. More than that, you've condemned the planet to the same thing!" Crono shook his head emphatically and gave Skippy the finger.

"Well, you're too late! The process already began, and there's no stopping it. Kill me if you want, my work will be completed." Crono frowned and looked around the room. Running from the device was a single orange cord. His eyes followed it to… a power socket! Shoving Skippy to the ground, he ran over to the wall end pulled the plug. With a quick stroke of his sword, he severed the cord so that it couldn't be used.

The status lights on the machine dimmed. The countdown clock stopped at 0:07.

"No! What have you done?! You've condemned the world to-" Skippy stopped as the lights lit up again and the clock resumed its countdown. "Oh, right," he said, much calmer. "The secondary power supply." Crono's eyes widened. "Oh, you don't really think that every villain failed to learn from the examples of those who came before. Contingencies need to be planned for, you know."

The clock reached zero and the device lit up with a dazzling light. As it reached into the Tesseract, it emitted powerful energies on all spectrums. Lucca dropped to her knees.

"No…" A simple statement of disbelief. "I don't believe this is happening…" Skippy shook his head.

"You just saw it. How can you not believe?" Lucca reached into a pouch on her belt and pulled out a small, many faced object, about the size of a marble, which she dropped to the floor.

"18," she said.

"Fine, fine. You successfully disbelieve, fully expecting Lavos to remain within the Tesseract for the remainder of history." He glanced at his watch. "Well… since you're here, would you like to have lunch? I was about to make sandwiches."

And so our heroes and their enemy sat down and watched Family Guy for a couple hours before they decided to go home.

Five hundred eleven years later, fifteen miles from Guardia Dome, Lavos was destroyed. Crono and his friends had saved the world before Lavos could begin raining destruction upon the world. The citizens of Guardia spilled into the streets, celebrating wildly.

It was a short celebration. Impossibly, Lavos appeared again, right where he was. Destruction rained from the heavens. The surface of the earth began to burn as every living being not thirty feet underwater was immolated in fire. All traces of organic life were destroyed. The energies pouring out of his shell were too strong for him to contain, and Lavos destroyed himself along with his human children.

Ending #17

The planet could heal, but at what price? A fresh start to terrestrial life had been given, but would there be enough time?


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