Fight the Fanfic Chapter 2

Now It's War

By Captain Gaul

“Dude! We’re dead again!”

“Crono is a psycho! Maybe we don’t want him on our team after all….”

Resuming their roles as powerful sorcerers, the two tried again—this time, they headed for Lucca’s place. On their way, they passed Taban, who stopped the pair.

“Who are you? Where are you going?’

“We’re Frank…and Devon. We’re here to talk to Lucca.”

Taban had a bad feeling about the two. He reached for his stun pistol and—stopped. A strange feeling over came his mind, and suddenly, he trusted the men implicitly. “Can I help you?” The two exchanged a glance.

“Sure,” Frank began, “Come with us.” Unable and unwilling, at least consciously, to resist, Taban walked with them.

They went up to the house; and Taban went in ahead. Lucca noticed at once the strange look in his eyes, as if all the intelligence and personality had been drained from him. “Lucca, Frank and Devon are here. They’re going on an adventure, and they want you to come with them.”

“Dad? What’s wrong with you.”

“Go with them, Lucca….”

A strange inkling formed at the back of her mind…she shook her head, and screamed. “NOO!!!!!!” With that she fired her stun pistol at her father, then quickly switched it to ‘kill’. As the two walked in the front door, she promptly shot one, then knocked the other one to the ground and held him against the earth. “What have you done to my father?!”

Devon made a gurgling noise as his neck bent up. “Answer me!”

“We just asked him to help us….”

Frank, a major wound in his chest, turned his head. “Dude…is it this painful when everybody else writes a fanfic….?” He coughed twice, then stopped breathing.

Lucca’s head whipped from Devon to Frank, then back to Devon, and she pressed the pistol against his head. “You’re reality authors?”


“Then what the hell are you doing in our world? We’ve already got an author.”


“You heard me, punk! This universe has already been authored by Captain Gaul. Now get the hell out of here, and don’t come back!”

“I can’t get out….”

Lucca, however, showed no sympathy. She simply pulled the trigger, and that was that.

* * *

“Dude! Would you stop killing us?!”

“It’s not me, Frank. It’s this Captain Gaul.”

“You’re saying this character is locking us out of are own story and killing our characters?”

“No, not Captain Gaul the character. Captain Gaul the author. He’s dominating this universe, and he’s locking us out of our own story.”

“How do we beat him?”

“We’ve got to make him not want this universe anymore. We’ve got to kill any characters he added, and make the world a living hell for any he’s especially attached to.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

“I’m not sure. C’mon, help me think of a plan.”

* * *

This would be Captain Gaul, the author, personally speaking now. This has given me a nasty little turn…I’ve never engaged in direct author wars before, and I don’t know of anyone who has, unless you count that time Saul and Krazy Sam wrote ‘Broken’ and couldn’t agree if Marle loved Crono or hated him—but I digress. I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to handle this, because this started off as just a simple little warning to ‘stay out’; now it’s war.

I’m not sure how this going to go, as I’ve mentioned. Probably the body count will higher than normal, because these two are aiming to kill my characters and I know they’re going to try to add some more of their own. I may even lose control of the story at some point; no guarantees. If the grammar and/or spelling starts getting really horrendous, please don’t let it reflect on me; realize that different authors are trying to take over the story now. Hopefully, you’ll all be rooting for me, because I like to think of myself as an above-average author and I really need to hold onto this universe. If you’re rooting for Frank and Devon, hoping they’ll take over all my stories, past, present, and future; well, I guess all I can say is that you can go suck eggs—but I mean that in the nicest way possible.


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