Echoes
By ZealPropht
Matilda's tearful sobbing reached his ears, even though he had teleported
into the bowls of the Underworld. Irwin sighed. He didn't mean to keep hurting
her, it just happened. It was his nature, the nature of a demon. Oh, granted,
he was only half demon, but that streak of destructiveness would forever
course through his veins. Irwin ran clawed hands through his luxurious,
rust-colored mane of hair that framed his handsome face. Then he stopped
halfway through. Matilda used to do that, he thought, back when
we were children. He remembered how she loved to sit with him and brush
his silky hair. They would do that for hours, the sound of the brush moving
over his scalp being the only sound.
The demon began walking, the Underworld's vastness seeking to swallow him
as he searched for a place to escape the awful echoes of Matilda's cries
of grief. Those sounds were the same ones she had made when she had learned
she was to become the spiritual leader of the nuns in the Gato Grottoes.
Irwin could still remember the feel of her slender body against his own as
she had clung to him, weeping into his chest. He had held her through the
storm, touching her hair and back with a soothing gentleness that he had
never known he possessed. It had been on that day when he realized that he
felt something for the girl, something he barely understood. His nature rebelled
against it with every beat of his heart and yet, he couldn't bring himself
to push her away. Even though he could not feel aggression towards Matilda,
the demon found his outlet in the Humans who sought to take away her freedom.
As much as he began to care for her, the more he wanted to find ways to destroy
those who made her unhappy. Escad never understood that.
The lava lake that flowed beside the walkway cast a searing heat on his fur
and skin but the demon found it rather enjoyable to the chill coldness that
pervaded the body after death. The heat on the outside matched the flare
of anger he felt on the inside at the thought of that name. No, Escad never
understood his intentions, he only condemned them without really finding
out the reasons behind them. He was too selfish, too jealous of the feelings
Irwin and Matilda shared to see anything past his own bitterness. Daena
understood, though, and she mourned her friends' unhappiness.
It had always been that way. Matilda was the gentle, quiet one, the person
who always did what others told her to. Escad was the warrior with lofty
ideals and principles who scorned the world that didn't seem to follow his
lead. Daena, the spirited cat woman, the rowdy one of the group who was always
ready for a scrap. And last of all, Irwin himself. He supposed that everyone
saw him as moody and brooding, with his flashes of temper and demonic heritage.
Escad could never put up with that aspect of him and could deal even less
with the idea of a demon wooing the woman he loved.
Irwin picked a a rock up off the cavern floor and flung it into the magma.
It dissolved in a flash of light and fire, the intense heat incinerating
it instantly. That's how life was, it seemed, one great free-fall and then
over in an instant. Friendships were like that too. Before Matilda, Escad
was a pleasant sort of person. A little zealous, perhaps, but never as obsessive
as he later became. And then, he changed. They all changed, really. It became
a rivalry for Matilda's attention between them. But the girl never wavered
in her devotion to one boy: Irwin. No matter what games they played, she
was always on his team, much to the anger of Escad who considered a half-demon
boy to be unfit companionship to an innocent young woman. Matilda never saw
it that way, though. Irwin often wondered if that was where his attraction
to her lay. She never condemned him for who he was, only accepted it in her
own calm way.
Picking up another rock, he hefted the weight in his hand, remembering a
time way back when they had played hide and seek with their friends. They
had gotten lost for hours. Irwin had been furious, spitting and snarling
at the girl, calling her names for having gotten them into such a mess. She
had endured his outburst calmly and never once said a word in defense. And
then, when the anger had left him, she coaxed him to sit down so she could
remove burrs from his mane. He never forgot that moment. She had been so
accepting of things he said and did, always the well of patience and kindness
to him. Even later, when he'd mistakenly thought that draining her magical
energy was the key to solving her problems, Matilda never uttered a condemnation
for his actions, nor for the fact that she had been reduced to an old woman
before her time by it
Irwin shuddered, the sounds of sorrow that still followed him through the
caves making his flesh prickle. He never meant to harm her that way. He never
thought about what the consequences would be. He simply did what his nature
told him to, despite whatever good intentions he harbored. He was a creature
designed for destruction, not salvation, and unfortunately, he learned that
lesson at the cost of Matilda's youth. Escad had found them afterwards. He
flew at Irwin, screaming righteously for him to leave Matilda alone. Irwin
was a demon and therefore not to be trusted. Perhaps the man had been correct.
Perhaps trusting someone while knowing their true nature was idiocy.
He had left Matilda with Escad and fled the scene, taking refuge in the Fairy
realms. He became bothered by previously unknown feelings of guilt and regret
as his Human side burned through. He took minor consolation that his intentions
had been pure and honest, despite the tragic outcome. But he couldn't face
her, couldn't face the one he had wronged so badly. He couldn't face the
understanding words and the eyes that would be free of any reproach. He ran
from her, his one true friend, his love, though he scarcely understood the
meaning of that word. He was unmanned by his cowardice and emotions. So he
changed, both in mind and appearance. The person Matilda had known was gone
after that. Irwin nurtured his dark side, drowning the goodness within him
in the blood of innocents. He began to entertain thoughts of wreaking chaos
and world destruction and he began to enjoy it.
At last, when he felt that he had mastered himself, the demon had appeared
before Matilda and, with cool amusement, told her of his plans to destroy
the planet. He had given her the key to her freedom long ago. He had sacrificed
his very humanity for her. He wanted to hear her protests of outrage, to
deny him his right to choose his own destiny. He wanted to hear her hypocrisy.
But instead, he found only her silence.
"Speak, small one," he had commanded her. "I would hear your views on my
plans." He had waited for many moments and was beginning to grow angry when
at last she spoke. It had been three simple words, but they had the power
to rip the solid world he thought he had created out from under his feet.
"So be it."
Irwin had been stunned. Could Matilda really appreciate the significance
of those words? But then she went on to explain that she valued the freedom
he had given her and would no more infringe on his right to choose than he
would on hers. All the old pain had returned to the demon in a rush along
with feelings he thought had been long buried. He always ran from her, he
realized. He did it then, he was doing it now. Or maybe he was running from
his own tormented emotions, not knowing which path to follow. Irwin had not
the slightest clue.
"Hey, newly dead!"
The demon looked up and bared his fangs. "Leave me be, Shadole," he growled.
The ghostly apparition snickered, as did his two buddies who hovered beside
him. The center one, the one who had spoken, was green striped while his
friends were blue and pink striped.
"Aw, don't be such a grouch! C'mon and talk to us! We're bored!" the pink
one twittered, batting her oversized eyes at him in mock flirtation.
"Yeah, newly dead!" the blue and white Shadole jeered. "Tell us how you
died!"
"He probably looked in a mirror!" the green Shadole laughed. "Man, what an
ugly mug!"
"I think you may be right," the female agreed. "Geeze! Would ya get a load
of that hair?" Irwin snarled fiercely and took a swipe at her with his claws
but she only disappeared and reappeared out of his reach. "What a loser,"
she laughed.
"Looks like he's still got some spirit left to him," Green said thoughtfully.
Blue smirked.
"Not for very much longer. They all have a bit of fight left when they show
up, but no one can resist the emptiness for long."
"You waste my time!" Irwin spat onto the heated stones and his saliva sizzled
as it evaporated. "Get you gone, shades of the past. Return to your holes
and pray to the Mana Goddess to be reborn as dragon dung!"
"Did he just call us a load of-"
"Watch your mouth!" Pink snapped at Green. Green looked sheepish and Blue
waggled a finger at him. Then he looked at Irwin's back as the demon stormed
past.
"Wow, such biting wit you have," he sneered. "Why don't you go find yourself
a comb?" All three Shadoles laughed hysterically at that, and the high-pitched
chittering sound followed after Irwin as he left. "Bye newly dead!" they
chorused. Between their mirth and Matilda's sobbing echoing everywhere, it
was a sensory overload. Covering his ears with his hands, he fled. He had
no idea how long he ran from the sounds. They chased him, always nipping
at the edges of his brain like a pack of hungry Howlers trying to wear down
their prey before they made the killing strike, ripping at the tired animal
till all that was left was a bloody husk. He had hunted that way, himself.
He knew the game. He never thought he would be playing it from the opposing
side, though. He ran and ran till his lungs felt like they would burst. He
sped through the dimly lit caverns till he finally collapsed to the stone
floor, his vision growing black from lack of oxygen.
"Matilda," he moaned, half sobbing. "Matilda, I need you. Help me..." He
clutched his head between his arms as if protecting himself from a rain of
blows. "Please...make it stop! I can't take it anymore!" But Matilda wouldn't
come to him this time, nor ever again. What he had said to her earlier had
been inexcusable. She had all but confessed her love to the demon when she
had found him in the Underworld. In death, she had resumed her true form,
that of a beautiful young woman. But more importantly, she had developed
a strange power as well, one Irwin couldn't even begin to fathom. She had
spoken of how they could be together now. They were free to make their own
destiny with each other, she said. Part of him, the part that was Human,
was touched by her devotion and love. But the part of Irwin that loved blood
and chaos and carnage resented her with a passion. He was free, yes. Free
from the rigors of mortal life. Free from Escad hunting him down like a beast.
Free from even his ambitions to destroy the world. But as free as he was,
her love for him and his returned love for her bound him in a secure cage
from which he knew he could never break out of.
"I turned my back on her," Irwin whispered brokenly, his own words drowned
out by the noise that beat against his eardrums. "Damn me for a fool, but
I did." His resentment had been his undoing. He told Matilda her love was
a thorn in his heart. He spoke of how, had he the chance, he would redo his
actions the same way all over again. Matilda had begged him to stay, part
with words, part with her eyes, those eyes that never accused. But he left
her there, in the room with many faces. And now she grieved as she had never
grieved before, not for her destiny as a priestess, not for her lost youth.
He had hurt her for the last time.
Removing his arms from around his head, the demon lay curled up on his side
on the hot, hard rocks, lost in emotions and memories. He had crossed the
line, broken a tenuous thread that might never be repaired between them.
He couldn't go on like this. He had no right to return to Matilda and ask
for her forgiveness. The war in his soul might rage forever, and he had already
put his love through so much anguish. Was this to be the hell designed for
him by the Lord of the Underworld? No, hell is a place of one's own creation,
he knew. He had made his nest, as the saying went, and now he would have
to lie in it. But then, Matilda had already forgiven him so much already,
couldn't she forgive him this one last time? She always said she understood
his nature...
Irwin felt the beginning stirrings of hope in the black depths of what he
called his heart. It might take him a while to sort himself out, to learn
to deal with both his good and bad sides without letting one be more dominant
than the other. For Matilda's sake, however, and for his own, he would try.
Maybe someday, he could go back and apologize for all he had done and maybe,
just maybe, they could live happily ever after. Laying out flat, he stared
at the ceiling with a blank expression on his face. Around him, the echoes
continued along with the flow of memories. But now, they didn't seem quite
as maddening as before. Could he one day go back and confront the source
of those echoes, he asked himself? Closing his eyes, the demon knew he would
have to. If not, well, the afterlife would be a very lonely place indeed.
The End