Square Wars: The Return of the Paladin Chapter 1

Cries of Jenova

By WarChild

Hello again from Warchild. If you read Square Wars: Leaving a New Hope and Square War: The Shinra Strikes Back, you'll have a pretty good idea what might happen here. Enjoy.
Note: Star Wars are the properties of Lucasfilm, and the FF series, CT, and SOM are properties of Squaresoft.


FOX fanfare blares up.

Instead of the 20th Century Logo, the PSX logo is seen.
PSX logo fades out.
Square Soft logo comes to view.
The fanfare ends when the logo fades out.

The words, "A long time ago, where The World Is Square" appear.
Then the background is replace by space, with the words "Square Wars" appearing in Star Wars style.
Then these words scroll up.

"Square Wars"
"Part VI"
"The Return of the Paladin"

"Cecil Darkheart, the rebellion's most "
"famous hero, has decided to return to "
"Corel, to save the great pilot Cid "
"Highwind from the gangster Jenova. "
"But unknown to Cecil, or to the "
"Returner/Avalanche alliance, that the "
"Shinra Empire has begun construction "
"of their newest weapon, a even more "
"powerful METEOR OF DOOM. "
"Once this super weapon of destruction "
"has been completed, it would seem all "
"is lost for the brave band of rebels, "
"aiming to restore freedom to the entire"
"galaxy... "

The words finally scroll away, and the image scrolls down. A Mana Fortress comes into view. In front of it is the half-built Meteor of Doom. The planet Mua is underneath the deadliest weapon. A transport space chopper pops out from underneath the Mana Fortress, as well as some ISFs. They head towards the space station in progress.
Inside the security chambers of the space station, people monitor the incoming ships. The chopper's pilots made contact with one of the controllers.
"Sir, we request entry to the Meteor of Doom." the pilot speaks through the radio.
"Once we have your clearance code, we will lower the shields and let you in." the controller responded. The entry code was received, and the chopper entered the station.

In the hanger groups of SOLDIERs lined up by the chopper. Going through the middle was Dalton. He just got word that the Dark Knight was going to visit the station. Now he has arrived. The chopper's back door has opened, and stepped out was the ominous evil figure, the Dark Knight. The SOLDIERs saluted the warrior. The warrior went towards Dalton.
"Sir, it's a great pleasure have you with us. We've been expecting you for quite awhile." Dalton greeted.
"Enough with these greetings! Where are Scarlet and Heidegger?" the warrior demanded.
"They're overseeing the final stages of construction. They sent me to tell you the station will be operational as planned." the shaken officer answered.
"The emperor is still not pleased with your bungling, so he's personally coming here." the warrior announced. Dalton was left aghast.
"Sir, are you saying that emperor is coming to this station?" he asked.
"Yes, and you better put things back on schedule for his arrival." the warrior declared.
"Well then. With that kinda news, my men should more vigilant in their work." Dalton replied. The Dark Knight looked at Dalton straight in the eye.
"Lets hope so. Bungle this one, you end up like the others who has displeased me." he warned. Then he went off.

Robo and Cait Sith trekked through the dusty fields of Corel. A large castle was ahead of them. As of the moment, Cait Sith was complaining to Robo.
"Robo, why is it I don't get to hear the rest of the plans?" whined Cait Sith.
"Because, some deem you a very useless character. Besides, you might ruin them anyway." Robo answered.
"Great. Cloud, Zack, Umaro, and Red XIII are missing, and all I know is that we must deliver a stupid cutscene to Jenova." moaned Cait Sith. Robo looked at Cait Sith.
"I wonder why is it that I'm paired up with you?" Robo asked.
"I don't know. But maybe the author wanted like that. Better not question his choices." Cait Sith answered. They finally arrived at the castle. "You know this looks like Edgar's castle in FF6." he remarked. The big doors overlooked the area. Robo found the intercom and pressed the contact button.

"Who's there?" a voice croaked from the speaker.
"Cait Sith."
"Cait Sith who?" the speaker buzzed. Cait Sith couldn't resist.
"Cait Sith anything. I'm blind!" he laughed at his pathetic attempt to form a joke. Robo pushed him aside.
"Sorry about my associate, Cait Sith. My name is Robo. We like to speak with Jenova, please."
"Are you a salesman? She hates salesmen. If not do you have an appointment with her? She's busy write now." the voice through the speaker buzzed.
"The answer is no to both questions." answered Robo.
"Then give me one good reason why should I bother to let you in?"
"We have a cutscene message to give her."
"Oh goody goody. I love cutscenes! All that wonderful FMV! Come in, come in!" the voice insisted. The big doors opened up with a loud grinding. Robo and Cait Sith walked into a dark hallway. In the only light they saw Chupon escorted by two Ogars(found in CT 600 AD).
"Heh heh! You brought the message? Let me see, let me see!" Chupon insisted.
"No." declined Robo. "The message must be seen by Jenova herself. You can see it when she sees it."
"Very well. Guards." He snapped for a few more guards. "Ensure that these two don't do anything else."

Robo and Cait Sith were escorted to the central room where Jenova and her cronies gathered around. Many mystics hobbled around, drunk as ever. On one side of the wall there was a huge display, covered in drapes. Cait Sith and Robo were brought to the disgusting Jenova-Synthesis. Chupon whispered something in her ear. Then in her high-pitched voice, she squealed, "Show me the message!" Robo activated his projection module, and a giant cutscene of Cecil in Paladin attire was shown. Cecil began to speak.
"Hello Jenova. My name is Cecil Darkheart, Mana Knight and a friend of Captain Highwind. I'm also representing the Returner/Avalanche alliance. We all know you hold Cid Highwind prisoner. As the representative of the alliance, I seek an audience with you so we can negotiate on Highwind's life, hoping to come to a reasonable agreement." Jenova laughed loudly as such a thing. Cecil's message continued on. "To show our respects for you, the alliance has provided a gift for you. These two useful droids, Cait Sith and Robo. Actually, I'm not sure Cait Sith is useful..."
"Hey, what's going on here? Who says I'm not useful?" Cait Sith interjected.
"Well the point is the droids are yours now." Cecil ended. The holographic cutscene faded. Jenova laughed again.
"There will be no bargain. Highwind belongs to me now! BEHOLD!" Everyone then faced the draped display. Slash and Flea uncovered the display to reveal Cid Highwind, still in ice, still in the freezer. Cait Sith started whining again.
"CECIL! Why are you traumatizing me? The frozen face of Cid Highwind stares at me, Jenova's gonna enslave me, and you call me USELESS? I'LL SUE!"
"SILENCE!" Jenova demanded. Cait Sith couldn't say anything anymore. Jenova motioned her guards towards the two droids. "Guards, take these two to Mother Brain. She'll find some work for them." she ordered.

"I WANNA GO HOME! I WANT MY MOMMY! I'M SCARED! WAAAAAAAAAAA!" The once always-optimistic Cait Sith started having a breakdown. "YOU AREN'T GONNA TAKE ME ALIVE!" Robo on the other hand remained calm. The guards took them to a room where jobs were assigned to the robots in Jenova's organization. Three computer displays hung from the wall. They emitted a light until the Mother Brain emerged.
"Ahhh, new acquisitions." it remarked. The computer figure looked at Robo. "Are you an R-series droid, are you not?" it inquired.
"Yes, I am." Robo answered.
"Does your main processor have the MUX components?" the Mother Brain asked.
"I have a Shintel Quadium II processor with Multi-Use Extensions." Robo replied.
"Splendid. Our previous translator droid had a malfunction. We've been lacking a droid with such a capability. Men, fit him with a Slave Crown, and place him with Jenova." The guards then proceeded to drag Robo away, making Cait Sith deeper in despair.
"Robo, don't leave me alone. NOT NOW!" The computer figure then looked down at the distraught Cait Sith.
"WHAT KIND OF ROBOT ARE YOU?" Cait Sith looked up to the image.
"Don't look at me. I'm a useless character." The image frowned.
"Don't you even have any hobbies, anything? You want be totally useless."
Cait Sith thought about this for a second. "Well, I gamble a lot. I know plenty of card games. I'm part slot machine." The image grinned.
"Good. We've been looking to get into the gambling business for quite awhile. And you would be the perfect thing for it."

Don Corneo looked around. A band was playing "Johnny C. Bad" and a scantily dressed girl danced on the floor. The men hooted and hollered. Don loved working for Jenova. He provided the connections that Jenova didn't have. In return he could get anything he wanted. "Chickees, and lots of them!" And why not? Her men enjoyed the shows and morale was high. The only problem was getting the girls.
Girls have a natural resentment towards Don and his lackeys. So it was no wonder on that day when the dancer refused to come close to the loony guy.
"Come on, girly. I'm hot! I want you!" he beckoned. The dancer shook her head. Jenova who was also in the room gave the girl a stern warning.
"Do what he says, or I'll punish you." Unfortunately one of her tentacles flipped a switch and opened a trap door beneath the girl. The band stopped playing, for everybody then rushed to a grate that allowed the viewing of the floor below. There was a loud scream, and a sickening crunch.
"Now look what you done. I have no girl now!" Don whined. Jenova wasn't paying attention for a few blasts came from the entry hallway. What walked in were two yellow cloaked figures dragging along Red XIII and Umaro, both of them in chains. They went in front of the alien gangster. Only their eyes were visible.

"We have come for the rewards for their capture." one of the clocked figures said in their own language. Jenova motioned Robo to come in and translate their words. Robo, reluctantly translated what the cloaked figure said.
"Ah, we have the friends of Cid Highwind, Umaro and Red XIII. We'll pay you 20,000 gil each." Jenova spoke to the figures.
"We want 45,000 each." the cloaked figure responded. Robo translated that for Jenova and he received a slap of her tentacles.
"This is an outrage. Why do you want 45,000 gil each?" Jenova growled at the two. The other figure held a green piece of materia.
"If you don't we'll cast Ultima and destroy this place." the other figure threatened. Robo nervously translated those words, creating a great hush all over the room. The Turks, who were also here, prepared to take those two figures down. Jenova only laughed.
"You are really the lowest scum. I like that kind of people in my organization. How's this? 32,500 gil each. Take it or leave it." The figure then replaced its materia, signaling an agreement. The Turks relaxes, putting down their weapons. Yet they stared at the mysterious bounty hunters. It didn't matter to Jenova, for the guards have taken the two furry friends to the prison.

That night, everybody was sleeping in the throne room. The cloaked bounty hunters moved through the sleeping mystics to the freezer containing Cid Highwind's frozen body. One opened the freezer door, while the other pressed the buttons on the freezer's control panels. Slowly the giant ice block was pushed out of the freezer. One of the figures searched its pockets.
"The fire materia, I don't have it." it claimed.
"You aren't so smart, are you? Don't you have a master magic materia?" the other asked.
"Oops. I forgot about that." The first then pulled out a green materia. With it the figure casted fire on the ice block. In seconds the ice melted away, and Cid dropped to the floor. He was definitely alive, for after he hit the floor, he shouted an expletive.
"@#%@#^@#!" The two figures pick him up.
"Shhhhhhhh. Don't make so much noise here." one of them hushed. The voice was definitely a woman's.
"But goddamit I can't see! I got the stupid blindness status." he complained.
"You'll be free of the status in no time. But you shouldn't talk so loud, for we are in Jenova's palace."
"What?" Then he remembered. The last thing he knew that he was frozen in Cloud's City by Dark Knight's forces. "Who are you?" he asked his rescuers. Even though he couldn't see their faces, they removed their hoods.
"It's us. Aeris and Tifa." Aeris replied.
"It's great that you guys would come after me." Cid remarked. Suddenly and ominous shriek filled the hallway. They turned towards the sounds. Jenova and her cronies were awake, laughing at the three. Cid tried to talk out of his predicament. "Look Jenova, I was going to pay you, and I got a little sidetracked. It's not my fault."
"Not your fault?! You've been hanging around with those rebellion friends of yours since Square Wars: Leaving a New Hope. I say, you dropped the ball, and now chocobo dung. Guards, take him away." Jenova retorted. Too human guards in Shinra uniforms came to take Highwind to the prison. Don Corneo, who was also in the room, looked at the two girls.
"LOOK! New chickees. I got myself new chickees! Jenova, I want them." A group of Ogars brought Tifa and Aeris towards the very hyper man. As they were dragged Aeris and Tifa argued.
"Look, what you have done. Now I'm gonna be on the same level as you." Aeris shouted.
"Me, what did I do? You didn't do anything to keep Cid quiet." Tifa shouted back.
"Look. Both of us are going to be forced to wear skimpy outfits. Outfits like yours." Aeris shouted.
"Do you think I had a choice? I was designed to look attractive." Tifa retorted. Don was very ecstatic when he saw this.
"OOOOHHHH! I'm a lucky man. Two beautiful chickees, and they are having a cat fight. I love frisky, wild women."

The two guards placed Cid in the same prison as Red XIII and Umaro. Red XIII and Umaro quickly heralded the arrival of their now unfrozen friend. After making sure that no one was watching, the two guards spoke to the prisoners.
"Hey, guys, it's us, Zack and Cloud."
"Zack? Cloud? What's going on here? Dammit why can't I see?" Cid shouted.
"Cid, calm down. Cecil planned our escape carefully. You don't want to ruin it." Red XIII explained.
"Cecil, that boy? How can he do anything? He couldn't take care of himself." Cid laughed.
"But he's been training to be a Mana Knight. He should be able to assist greatly." Cloud replied.
"Gee, you can't believe anything you hear. Zack, Cloud, how did you get here?" Cid chuckled.
"We got in by posing as former Shinra soldiers. We couldn't go in as just mercenaries, since the Turks were in the building. It was the only way we could spy on them." Zack told their story.
"Cripes. Shouldn't you go back so they won't see you talking to us?" Cid whined. Umaro responded by given Cid a hug. "Omph. While you at it, can't you get a TV in here? I MISS THE DUKES!" he added afterwards.

Cecil walked in the entry way with stride. He just had persuaded the door guard to open up. Now two Ogars with hammers stood in Cecil's path. With a wave of the hand, he placed them to sleep. The next obstacle was the sneezing Chupon.
"Achoo! You're Cecil Darkheart. You must leave now." Luckily Cecil had a Typhoon/Chupon materia in hand. Using that and the powers of Manipulate and Confuse in his mind, he controlled Chupon to his will.
"You will take me to Jenova, and let me speak with her." Unable to break Cecil's hold on him, Chupon did as he was requested.
"I will take you to Jenova. Just follow me." Chupon led Cecil too the throne room. On the end of the room, Jenova and her men slept. On one side of the room, Don slept in his chair, with Aeris and Tifa, now wearing scantly dancing outfits, chained to it. Chupon approached his master with caution. He whispered something into Jenova's ear but then sneezed. The whole room awoke with a buzz. Robo noticed Cecil in the room.
"Finally, Cecil has come." Jenova became very angry with Chupon.
"I told you not to let him in, you simpleton!" she shouted at him.
"Tell her I must speak with her." Cecil instructed. Chupon whispered another thing in her ear. She was now really angry with him.
"You let him use the mind trick, on you, didn't you?" He pushed Chupon aside. She then looked at Cecil. "Don't bother trying to use the mind trick, because it won't work, boy."
Cecil remained confident. "You haven't listened to my message, haven't you? We can bargain things out you know. If you refuse, I'll destroy you. It's your choice, but don't you dare underestimate me." Jenova chuckled. "What a threat from a mere boy. A boy who's about to DIE!" With that Cecil used the lifestream to grab a gun out of a guardsman. An ogar aimed to grab it but Jenova pulled the switch. Cecil and the ogar fell down the trap door. Everybody then rushed to the grate. Cloud and Zack rushed to assist Aeris and Tifa. Everybody knew what was down beneath.

Cecil and the ogar stumbled until they fell out of the chute. A giant door rumbled open, and the Ruby Weapon stepped out. The terrified ogar ran towards the other side of the room. Unfortunately the Ruby Weapon unleashed its Ruby Flame on the terrified mystic. The Ogar was burnt to a crisp, hammer and all. Cecil had to move quickly if he had to avoid being crushed. He took out his other summon materia.
"Phantom!" The phantom spirit turned Cecil invisible. "Alexander!" The giant robot appeared and blasted the Ruby weapon. This was annoying the Ruby Weapon. It blasted its streams of fire and pushed its tentacles through the ground. Cecil quickly dodges these attacks, and managed to get the tentacles to attack each other. The Ruby Weapon roared in pain. Now Cecil tried to find a way to escape. He saw a utility door at the side. He rushed there and opened only to find a gate and a bunch of rowdy mystics. The mystics pushed him back into the pit. Cecil had to find a way to stop the Ruby Weapon, for his invisibility faded. He noticed a switch on the other side, and the huge door. As the Ruby Weapon went under the door, Cecil casted Bolt on the switch, destroying it. The chains were released as a result, and the door fell on the Ruby Weapon, killing it. (I know, but you wish it were this easy.)

Jenova shrieked in anger, seeing that the Ruby Weapon has been defeated. Tifa and Aeris were smiling. Jenova called out to Cloud and Zack, even though she didn't know that they were Cloud and Zack. She instructed them to get the prisoners. Cid and his friends will pay for this act against her organization. Don, on the other hand, didn't seem to care. He was staring at the two scantily dressed Tifa and Aeris, drooling.
"Oh mama, I'm so lucky!" he chucked. Tifa and Aeris shuddered.
"EWWWW!" they cringed and they gave Don Corneo a slap.


Chapter 2

Crossover Fanfics