Square Wars: The Galbadian Menace Chapter 1

Forcing a Way...

By WarChild

Square Wars: The Galbadian Menace A Square Soft Parody of Star Wars:The Phantom Menace. By WarChild
Chapter 1-Forcing a Way...

It's been almost a year since I wrote the original Square Wars. Without a new episode, and a new Final Fantasy, everything has been on hold. Now with FF8 released in Japan, FF5 finally on its way, and the heralded arrival of Episode I, I can now tell the beginnings of Golbez, Bugenhagen, Robo, and Cait Sith. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Square Wars Part I: The Galbadian Menace.

Note: All characters, places, items, etc., are the property of their respective owners.

FOX fanfare blares up.

Instead of the 20th Century Logo, the PSX logo is seen.
PSX logo fades out.
Square Soft logo comes to view.
The fanfare ends when the logo fades out.

The words, "A long time ago, where The World Is Square" appear.

Then the background is replace by space, with the words "Square Wars" appearing in Star Wars style.

Then these words scroll up.

"Square Wars"
"Part I"
"The Galbadian Menace"

"It was a time of turmoil and treachery"
"in the Galactic Republic. The disputes"
"over trade agreements have gotten harsher.... "
"The Federation of Galbadia has launched"
"a blockade on the planet Toroia,"
"disrupting trade, in hopes of forcing"
"a settlement."
"While the councils of the Republic discuss"
"this situation, a secret delegation of Mana"
"Knights, galactic peacekeepers over many"
"milleniums, were sent to diffuse the increasingly"
"critical situation..."

The words finally scroll away, and the image scrolls down. What appears is a group of giant space cruisers, surrounding a planet, effectively cutting all possible entryway to the surface. A small heli-shuttle flies through the empty space towards the menacing cruisers. It's pilot makes contact with one of the Galbadian crusiers.

"State your business here." a robotic voice asks the pilot.
"We are envoys from the Republic, hoping to discuss the legalities of this blockade.  We must be allowed to speak with Federation President Deling." the pilot responsed.  There was a long pause afterwards.  Then there was a reply, a reply with a human voice.
"Ahh, ambassadors from the Republic.  I'm President Deling.  I have been expecting you considering these turn of events.  I can assure you we are following proper protocal in regards to the blockade."
"And we can assure there will be much neogiation before we determine that." one of the ambassors replied.
"Gentlemen, let not get hasty here.  You have permission to enter and to meet me in the designated room.  I'll be with you shortly." was Deling's answer.

With that the conversation ended.  The heli-shuttle hovered into the hanger of the lead cruiser of the blockade.  Outside two worker robots RAMBUS and DRAM discuss these turn of event.
"So, this is the crossover between Episode I and SquareSoft games right?" RAMBUS began.
"Whatever... it has to be something." DRAM replied.
"How many people in the world tries to make a Star Wars/SquareSoft crossover? Almost zilch.  They rather work on crossovers with Star Trek, X-Files, South Park, Simpsons, and that no good for nothing show featuring fantasy violence and superheroes who are nothing but teenagers in spandex costumes!" RAMBUS then complained.
"Calm down RAMBUS, calm down." DRAM pleaded.
"I'm sick of this.  And I bet the lines given to us here are just a bit crappy like the ones given to our counterparts in the movie." RAMBUS blabbered on.
"Silence, both of you.  We don't need your petty talk here.  Besides, your counterparts were cut from the movie!  Now get back to maintance, STAT!" ordered PPC-MAC, a protocal droid just sent to greet the ambassadors from the republic.  The two worker bots quickly replies, taking their arguement with them.  PPC-MAC sighed, as the heli-shuttle's back door open to reveal Galuf and Bugenhagen, the ambassadors, and in reality, two Mana Knights.  "You two must be the envoys from the Republic.  Follow me to the conference room."  The protocal droid lead the two Knights to a pair of double doors in the hallway.  In the conference room a lone janitor sweeps up the floor.
"Hey you in there, finish sweeping up the floor before I have a robot doing it.  There's gonna be neogations in here." the protocal droid yelled, before shutting the doors, leaving the three humans in there.

The two Knights made themselve comfortable as they examined the room.  A round large table stands in the middle of the room, complemented by twelve chairs of equal design.  Hung on the ceiling are several glass cages, with the bottom and sides tinted black.
"You know, I have a bad feeling about this.  I can't just trust anyone who has tinted glass cages hanging from the roof.  I bet its to hide something in there." Bugenhagen remarked.
"Oh, don't be such a worrywort.  Here, let me show what's in them." the janitor replied.  With the press of a button, the tint on the glass faded, and the clear glass now revealed...
"Pokemon?  Is the author nuts?  This is supposed to be a Square crossover only!" Galuf demanded.
"Well, don't look at me, the author hasn't gotten real good ideas lately.  Hey, I'm here just for a plot device." the janitor replied.
"Plot device!?  Wait a minute, since when ships have human janitors?  Who do you think you are?" Bugenhagen realized, as he removed the hat that kept the janitor's face from being visible.  The janitor was none other than...
"Squall?  What are you doing here?  I thought you're hunting that traitor Seifer." Galuf demanded.  Squall was a fellow Mana Knight, and was sent on a different mission, to find the traitor Seifer.
"Well, thanks to some other plot device, my search has somehow led me here to President Deling's ship.  I caught rumors of him meeting some high Galbadian officials." Squall answered.

Outside PCC-MAC realized that he didn't recall hiring any human janitor, so he decided to listen in on the conversation.
"Squall, you can't be seen here.  Once they realize you're not their janitor the neogations will be in big trouble."
"Don't worry Galuf.  We know the famous mind trick, do we not?  There's bound to be a bunch of people we can, how you say, manipulate?"
Famous mind trick?  Of course, these men must be Mana Knights.  That first one came here to spy on us, and reported back to the Republic on our real plans.  So these "envoys" show up.  "I must warn the President." he muttered to himself, as he rolled towards the ship's bridge.

"They're what?" the president shouted.
"Mana Knights, all three of them.  The janitor has been here quite a while, probrably spying on us.  The other two mussta have came posing as envoys to determine our plans." PCC-MAC replied, shaken from the president's anger.
"I'll not stand for this.  We can't have the Senate riding on this now.  Go to those two and serve them drinks.  See what they're up to." the president ordered.  Then he turned to his ally, Cain.  "Establish contact with the boss.  She will want to hear of this.  And do hurry." he commanded.

"Wait a minute, wasn't Solaris the last place Seifer was last sighted?" Bugenhagen questioned his fellow knight.
"Well, he was there, but he left before I got there.  The few people who did answer my questions mentioned that a Galbadian ship was the only thing that in many hours prior to my arrivial.  So I snuck aboard a transport heading to the blockade, considering the number of Galbadian troops in the area, it was quite a feat to do so." Squall explained.
"Hold on just a sec, Galbadian troops in Solaris?  What were they doing there?  Aren't Solaris and Galbadia allies?" Galuf interjected.
"Of course.  I think they were escorting high commanders and the emperor of Solaris in there.  Some Galbadian officials in that same ship." Squall answered.
"Hmmm... Galbadia must be trying to gain support for its blockade, and Solaris has much clout in the Senate.  Solaris must have some hand in this too..." Bugenhagen pondered, as PCC-MAC entered with drinks.
"Coffee, tea, lemonade?" PCC-MAC said nervously, as he served the drinks to Bugenhagen and Galuf.

"Forgive us master for interrupting you, but we fear the plan is in jeporady." Deling nervously stated to the image of his master, Altemisia, demon witch of darkness.  Her freakness face put the two men in terrified awe. Even Emperor Cain, who held the state of Solaris since its founding with a harsh fist, trembled at the person who gave him his power.
"Who would try to disrupt my meticulous plans regarding Toroia?  I was assured the Republic wouldn't try to interfere at all in this manner." the witch demanded.
"Two or maybe three Mana Knights. I fear they might be on to our plans the whole time." Cain explained.
Angry the witch shouted, "Cain, Cain, Cain. For the past 5,000 years I help you keep your powers, yet you still fear them?" This sent Cain scurrying from his master's sight. "These Mana Knights don't know who are they dealing with. They thought they defeated us for good. They should have never mettled with my plans. Deling, accelerate the course of action here. Initiate Plan DEUS immediately!" she commanded with such furor.
"You want to launch plan DEUS now? Can you make it legal? And what of the Knights?" a surprised Deling asked.
"It seems whoever sent the Knights was making a big mistake. Kill them now!"

"Sir, the hanger guns are aimed at us!" the pilot of the heli-shuttle declared. But before the co-pilot could respond the guns fired. There was little left of the ship that carried the Mana Knights in.

The shock from the exploding ship startled the three Mana Knights. Galuf and Bugenhagen ignited there standerd Mana Sabers, while Squall ignited a custom made gun-blade saber, a cross between a Mana Saber and a gun-blade, which was standard issue in the Garden military institudes back at Midgar, capital of the republic. PCC-MAC, definately sure now these people were Mana Knights, fled the room. As the Knights started to depart for the bridge, a hold in the ceiling opened, and a red and white ball fell.
"A thermodetonator! Duck and cover!" Squall cried, as he jumped under the table. Galuf and Bugenhagen took a closer look at the small ball.
"Hey, that's a Pokeball! Two references to Pokemon already?" Galuf mused. Bugenhagen would have answered, but the Pokeball burst open and released the monster inside.
"WHEEEZING!" was the pokemon's cry, as it released tons of gas into the room. All three knights dove under the table, and started to don their gas masks.
"Dang, don't these stupid Galbadian fools know we are equipped with gas masks?" Squall whined.
"I think they aren't trying to suffocate us, but burn us! Look!" Bugenhagen pointed to one of the glass cages. Inside, a yellow Pokemon was staring at the 'Wheezing' as it's red cheeks started giving off sparks.
Pikachu was charging up to unleash a massive electric shock anytime soon...

"You think they're dead in there?" one Galbadian soldier asked, as a squadron of troops wait outside the conference doors. Then a massive explosion blew open the doors, and debris came flying out.
"Are you kidding? No one has ever survived a gas explosion. Especially in small rooms with high gas concentrations. Get in there and find their bodies." the commander ordered. The troops went into the smoke filled room, searching for the bodies of three men.
"Sir, all we find in here are dead Pokemon. But not one human body in here." a voice called out from the room.
"Blast, no Mana Knight could survive this!  Search harder!" the commander demanded.  But just as the order rang out the hall, sounds of scurrying and fighting were heard in the former conference room.  In a manner of seconds the search team was literally booted out to the hall.  The intimidating commander now felt intimidated, as the three knights of the Magi walked out unscathed.  "Retreat!"

Cain and Deling were observing the commander's hasty retreat on the viewing screen.  Then on screen the Mana Knights were observed running in a certain direction.
"Deling, your Pokemon or troops didn't finish them off.  Now they're headed for the bridge!" Cain shouted.
"Don't you think I know where they're headed?  Men, seal off the bridge.  Cain, why don't you get the elements to help us?" was Deling's reply.

"There's the bridge.  We must confront President Deling." Bugenhagen remarked.  As soon the bridge doors are close though, Squall uses his saber to cut into the door.   The saber's intense heat turn bit by bit hard steel into molten slag.
"Idiot.  Don't you know normal steel can't withstand a laser blade such as that?" Cain demanded.
"Normal steel!?  That's supposed to be reenforced steel!" Deling shouted back.
As Squall makes work of the door, Bugenhagen and Galuf handle the incoming robo troops of Galbadia.  But as the two finished dispatching the robots, four female warriors of Solaris appeared.  They were the Elements, Solaris elite warriors.
"Stop it right there, you sorry Mage warriors!" Dominia declared.
"Those who deny who has the true power will be eliminated." Kelvena added.
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight us all!" Tolone insisted.
"Yeah!  Surrender now so you don't have to feel Tolone's gin 'n tonic futon bra... wait a minute, you used a line from Pokemon, Tolone!  From the Team Rocket slogan, right?" Seraphita managed to say.  Tolone fell flat on her face, stood up, and started rebuking Seraphita.
"Sera you idiot.  It's positronic photon brain!  And I give a #$%#$ about where you heard that line before!"
Tired of this many times, Dominia stepped in.  "Hey you two!  Stop it!  We are to fight those Mana Knights, not each other.  Now stop this nonsense before they...  AUGH!"  As it happen here folks, the three knights eluded the Elements, just when they're saying there lines.
"@#@#$ you Sera.  You are nothing but a #@$%@#^?$$ black sheep in our group." Tolone grabbed her sister.
"Black sheep?  I love black sheep.  They're so cute 'nd fuzzy and sooooooo rare!  I just wanna squuuzeee-" Seraphita blabbered on, until Kelvena knocked her out.

"Those incompetent #@$%#@$^&$@#^!  Just where are those stinken SOBs of @#%@#%@#%@#$^ Knights?!   @#%@#%@#%@#" Cain swore, as Deling frantically conferred on his men on where the location of the knights are.  But one of Deling's aides interrupted Deling.
"Sir, we made contact with the leader of Toroia." the aide announced.  Deling paused long enough to absorb this information.
"Well, looks like we're making some progress.  Cain, leave me.  She must not know you're aiding me." Deling responded.  Cain, still angry at the Element's failure, stormed out promptly.  Deling turned to the video wall.  Soon the image of Queen Infalnia appeared.  "Well, you come before me again, your highness.  The Federation is quite pleased..." Deling spoke.
"You won't be pleased with I have to say, Mr. President.  Your blockade has ended." Infalnia responded.  Deling chuckled.
"Ahhh, what is it you know that I don't know?" Deling questioned.
"The Senate is voting on this blockade of yours.  I doubt things will go your way." Infalnia replied.
"Hmmm, it seems you believe things will turn in your favor.  Why do they vote on this, I've no idea!" Deling laughed.
"Enough stalling.  Surely you have spoken to the ambassadors from the Republic?" Infalnia asked.
"What ambassadors?  I haven't made contact with any ambassadors in the last twenty four hours." Deling answered.
"Does it matter now?  The Republic will not stand once they find out what you're doing here." was Infalnia's last words before the screen faded.  Deling just laughed.
"Yes, yes they will.  But not if they don't know.  Men, jam all communication signals from the planet.  We are going through the invasion as planned."

The three Mana Knights struggled through the ventalation system of the starship.  Soon they found themselves in a large hanger.  Assualt droids, ships, troops, and Gears were packed in this huge hanger.
"An invasion group.  Galbadian robots and troops with Solarian Gears.  They must be serious or really out of their @#%@#% minds!" Squall mentioned.
"Watch your toungue, Squall.  Can't violate those rules.  We gotta reach the surface of the planet, and contact the Republic.  It's Toroia's only chance."  Galuf declared.
"Me going down there?  No way.  I was sent to find Seifer, and I going to find Seifer!" Squall refused.
"There's no point in staying here Squall.  Besides, if any of us has to continue with our respective missions we must get out of here."  Finally Squall gave in.  With that they hid themselves in separate transports, hoping to meet each other on the surface.  All of them not knowing the true power behind this...


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