Hidden Pasts Chapter 9

By Katie Herdman

                During the night, Squall dreamt. He dreamt again of his childhood, but this time he was not afraid or confused, he was content.


Yet again at the orphanage, Squall and Andria sat on the beach. Andria was making castles in the sand with her finger and he was staring at them, intrigued.

Seifer then came along and wrecked them, and Andria started to shout at him. Eventually he went after she threatened to turn him into a bug. Laughing and jeering he ran away.

Andria looked upset so Squall promised that next time he would rescue her and that he would always protect her.


Squall awoke slowly.  For a second he didn’t know where he was, it wasn’t his room, then he realised that he was in Andria’s room. It was not quite dawn yet.

Andria slept beside him, nestled into him. Her hand lay on his chest, next to his heart. Suddenly it hit him, the guilt of what he had done.

Climbing out of bed slowly and quietly so he didn’t disturb him, Squall picked up his discarded clothes and started to put them on.

He felt terrible; first he had betrayed Rinoa by sleeping with Andria, now he was betraying her by leaving like this. Neither of them deserved what he was doing. Looking once more he pulled the sheets over her naked shoulders and left.


            Squall walked quickly back to his room, he didn’t want to meet anyone on the way and have to explain himself, but… Seifer turned up, right on time.

“Not as good as Rinoa was she. Is that why you’re sneaking back?”

Squall was amazed and angry, how had Seifer known.

“Don’t worry Squally boy, you’re secret’s safe with me.”

Seifer’s smug smile broadened when he saw the hatred on Squall’s face.

“You old stud,” he said and walked away, a spring in his step for the first time in a while.

“Happy?” asked Fujin when she saw Seifer coming. He was smiling a lot, which was something he hadn’t done in a long time.

“Yes,” he said.


“I just found out something really funny.”


            Andria woke up from a deep sleep. It had been a long time since she had slept so well. She saw the empty space beside her and remembered the betrayal she had made.

Andria hadn’t liked Rinoa from the start, but she didn’t deserve this. What had she been thinking when she asked Squall to stay with her.

                Andria climbed out of bed and started putting her clothes on. It was late and people would be wondering where she was.

Buttoning up her shirt, Andria noticed Squall’s gloves lying just under the bed.

She picked them up and looked at them. He must have left in a hurry if he had left them. Maybe he had wanted to get away from her.              

Andria picked up her black jacket and slipped the gloves into the pocket. She then put on the coat. She had to find Squall. Picking up her crossbow, she left.


                Squall was in his room, thinking about last night when Rinoa knocked.

“Can I come in,” she asked.

He was so confused about everything, what he felt for Rinoa and his past with Andria.  Maybe he should tell Rinoa everything. No, that would break her heart.

“I thought we should talk, because we haven’t done that in a while and Squall, I know you hate talking and all you’ll say is `…whatever`, but you’ve seemed so distant lately, like you’re, drifting away.”

Rinoa sat down next to him she was upset. It was like he had been there with her, but he wasn’t, like there was something else on his mind. Rinoa would have given anything to know what it was.

“…Is there…something…wrong,” he asked, afraid she knew his secret. Maybe she shouldn’t know just yet. Now wasn’t a good time.

“Yes. Squall, please talk to me, tell me what’s on your mind, anything. Please.”

Rinoa said those words with so much desperation that Squall almost blurted out everything. It was all he could think of. At the last moment he managed to suppress the words that he could feel forming on his lips.

Rinoa started to sob and Squall hugged her, pulling her close to him.

“Hi, I’m not interrupting, am I?”

Andria stepped into the room, the crossbow hung over her shoulder.

She looked at Rinoa who tried to make it seem she hadn’t been crying, and thought that in a second Rinoa knew and was going to shout at her and call her all names under the sun, but she didn’t and Andria breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’ll leave if you want,” Andria said, wanting to make a quick exit away from Squall. It was a mistake to go find him. She could have asked Vincent to give Squall his gloves back, and he would have without asking any questions.

“No, it must be important. Squall, can we talk later.”


Squall nodded and kissed her goodbye. The kiss was awkward and Rinoa seemed surprised at his display of affection, but she was pleased.

Squall was trying to make a point to Andria, that his love for Rinoa was strong, and Andria couldn’t break it.

“Here, Squall,” Andria, said awkwardly.

She gave him back his gloves. Squall stared at them.

“You left them in my room.”

Seeing he wasn’t going to take them from her, Andria put them on the bed.

“I know you regret what happened, but can we at least…”

Andria couldn’t finish. She realised that she would never forget and that something had changed between them. This was why she had never gone for her dreams, in case he rejected her.

“I… I… still care… about you… Andria … but…”

Squall couldn’t finish.

“I know,” she said and walked away. Squall felt so alone so guilty, what did he do now. His father had done something similar.

“No,” Squall whispered, “I’m not like him.”


            “What do you want now,” Andria said to Sati as she walked towards her.

Andria was out on the balcony; it was her favourite place when she wanted to be alone. She wasn’t happy that some one had invaded her privacy.

Sati stood and waited for her. There was an odd expression on her face.

When she spoke, her voice quivered, “He will try to find you now Andria, he needs you. The hour of the Ancient Ones is at hand. Both yours and Leraikhe’s blood will bring enough energy to summon them from the depths of the earth.”

Andria just shrugged and said, “I know.”

“You should read this.”

Sati produced a book. It was old and the cover was made of leather. The pages were yellow.

Opening up a page Sati pointed to a section and Andria read it.

When she had finished, Andria walked slowly to the side of the balcony and looked out.

“What can I do,” she whispered, “…if that’s what it says, then I can’t argue with it, but I don’t believe in fate, it won’t happen. I’m gonna fight right to the end, no matter what.”

“You can’t fight, Sati said, “you’ve hardly used your powers. How do you expect to win if you can’t fight?”

“I really don’t know… about anything anymore. All I know is that I’m trying to stay alive.”

Andria tried to hold back the tears. It was getting harder to do anything, she was tired of fighting with no end in sight, only now she was being given that end and suddenly she wasn’t so keen on taking it.

“Do you know that that’s the first time I’ve read the prophecy, it’s been kept hidden. Why didn’t you show me sooner Sati?”

“I did not know until recently, I am sorry that it’s bad news.” Andria shrugged again, “it’s not your fault.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Call a meeting.”

Andria walked out of the balcony. Sati looked sorrowfully out over the Alcauld plains. Clouds were starting to gather.


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