To See Another Day Chapter 20
Offkey Individuality
By Kain Servant
He could feel it. Feel through every pore of his body what was happening…feel it surrounding him, close. Felt his nature wanting to cling to it – that was what he lived for after all…
Emryal knew he was alive. And he knew what Menoth had done. Allicar. He was becoming the Allicar – and that meant that he had lost. After what had it been? Hundreds of years…searching for a Summoner left on a dying planet, he had lost the battle.
They had found two. Both had gone to Menoth – and that made him seeth. The first, Aitella…had caught Menoth’s eye…had taken his heart – and so he had killed her – to save her from the endless of feeding his soul.
The fusion was painful, Emryal had read – for both parties…but when it was finally finished, a masterpiece of power was created – one with the power to destroy whole planets and create them again. The Allicar.
He could feel his brothers flocking to the spot – and soon it would be over, soon Menoth would be complete and he would have to grovel before him like everyone else. No more Ruc Tzai and Alc Tzai, no more off-balanced power, Menoth would have it completely, and Emryal would be a crippled Ellian once again! He couldn’t stand it!
Slowly, agonizingly, he opened his eyes and looked around the house that he had fallen in.
The room of eyes…a gaping hole in the ceiling showed the bright afternoon sun shining down…but there was something unseen blocking it that made it blurry…vague.
Zidane was gone…so was Kain and Necron…it was only he and Menoth. Menoth was held in midair, a curtain of black and gold energy surrounding him…Garnet’s lifeless form clutched in his arms, her blood covering both him and her, the rest had formed a pool at his feet.
“Weak…Menoth, you were always weak. I could never look up to you. Hypocrite. After what you had just said, you turned around and took the girl anyway – does that prove now that you’re mortal…that you’re down here on our level – no different, no individual! You’re exactly the same.”
He was not conscious, but it seemed the energy had heard the words, and it buzzed angrily at him. Emryal sneered and picked up his sword. “Well hear this, bitch! It’s time for me to be the individual in this group. I’m leaving you, and when I come back – it’ll be for your Allicar head! This planet is rightfully mine after all your betrayals…our people don’t need individuality, they need a leader to look up to.”
Emryal walked to the door, slowly. His body was still feeling sore from being thrown around the day before. But he was still strong. “So they can look up to me, Menoth. Me! And your head on my sword!”
--
Kuja clung to Khazic’s back as they skimmed through the air, brushing past clouds and breaking through the air. Below him he could see Treno…the city had been relatively undamaged, but still he could see flames and could imagine the screams…the rioting. The people would destroy themselves.
“They need a savior.” Oh how ironic...They would look up to them. They had to.
But first he had to take care of his opposition. He needn’t worry about the Ellians quite yet – they were still occupied with reaching their king on foot. A task which would take them plenty of time. And the heroes were all scattered across the world…helpless.
He had personally seen to the Hilda Garde crashing in the Dark Forest. He thought it would be amusing if they met their demise in the same place they had started fighting him the first time. The Ice Cavern.
Everything had to be perfect or ironic in some way. He was in control, he wouldn’t have it any other way. How would he kill Zidane? Perhaps deep in the roots of the Iafa Tree…oh that would be gorgeous!
‘Kill Zidane? Can you really bring yourself to kill him?’
“Yes…if you don’t get in the way…” Kuja muttered in irritation. “I have no stigmas, I’m not religious. I kill. I can kill him.”
‘We’ll see.’
“I will.” Now he would attend to his next matter of business. He had to check for survivors in Alexandria…he couldn’t let anyone escape. And he would let his wonderful new mist mages take care of the main group in the Ice Cavern…too bad he would probably miss the main show – but he could swing by later to check on their remains…perhaps one would still have life enough in them to struggle out a few questions…”W-w-why? Haha, because I hate you!” He pictured Zidane kneeling in front of him, clutching his bloody chest, “Because of what you did to me. This is your creation! Your rejection has created me. Reject me now, why don’t you look down on me now – well you can’t. Because I’ll hold your chin up as I drop you into the grave…”
Zidane fell…and Kuja erupted in a long sigh as he stroked Khazic’s feathered back thoughtfully, “You know…Arteon, you’re right. When this is all over – and they are all dead, I’m sure I’ll be…slightly remorseful. But – truthfully – all good things have to end sometime, right? You asked me to think of what happened if I died now.”
He paused again and watched the great ocean skim by beneath him, “As long as I die atop the world like this – I don’t mind when it comes. I am happy.”
--
“Where was he born?”
N sat back and thought about that. “Terra. Somewhere on Terra I suppose. Branbal?”
“The City of Genomes…hmm. That’s very probable…” Secretary wrote something on her pad of paper, and N leaned back further in his chair. He felt sleepy…slippery…it was hard to focus on reality and concentrate on what she was saying. If indeed…it was reality at all, and she, whoever she was, was saying anything at all.
It could all just be a dream…he didn’t know why he knew a Zidane, or why he knew he was a journalist in Lindblum. It was all in a foggy dreamlike state that made him doubt himself…he couldn’t remember the past – or what he was going to do after the day in the office…couldn’t remember who the woman in the bed with him was.
Sure as hell his name wasn’t N. Or Never.
“And…he had no mother or father I suppose. These genomes seem to be more…’spawned’ than born.”
“If he had a father, it would be Garland.” Why would he know something like that. “Technically, Garland was the father of the genomes, and the only real Terran left. Mother? The planet I suppose.”
“True, true.” Secretary wrote down more on her pad, before looking up at him with another smile and another question. “And he was…disowned, I suppose?”
“That is debatable. Either Zidane just wasn’t what Garland wanted in an Angel of Death, or Kuja was just more ambitious…and he was cast into the next world without a memory.”
“So he doesn’t remember anything at all?”
“I guess not.” Zidane surfed through the papers on his desk, half-heartedly. He already knew the story very well and could quote it out of his mind. “He just…started living in Lindblum one day, and after an uncertain period of time joined with Tantalus.”
“How did that make him feel?” N did a doubletake and looked back up at her, slightly confused.
“Howsat?”
“He woke up…we assume around 13 years old, all alone and remembering nothing, at an age when a child is still dependant on their parents. How do you suppose he reacted?”
N closed his eyes and shrugged. Odd question. How would he have reacted? Slowly he fell into the well of his imagination and sketched a rough drawing. Baker Street of Lindblum…he opened his eyes and saw all around him oddly shaped buildings he had never seen before…and people of all shapes and sizes. Panic seized him. Was this dream or reality? He scrambled to his feet, too confused to do anything but look around and wonder and try to fathom what was happening. All he could remember was his name…Zidane. All he could think of was that he wasn’t at home and that was where he wanted to be.
“It’s sort of odd that Zidane didn’t want to stay in Branbal once he finally found that was his home. He was very resolute on the goal that he wanted to find his home, during his journeys with Garnet and the rest.”
“I think…that his home was the place where he felt accepted. He probably looked at Branbal…and saw all the genomes walking around, devoid of any soul or passion. And then he turned to Garnet, and saw that he loved her and she loved him. And I bet he knew where his home was then.” N stared at Secretary for a moment. Then he nodded,
“True. Write that one down as well…” Next was Tantalus…N closed his eyes and tried to imagine what Zidane must have felt…and in his mind, the gentle dreamlike haze blew away.
--
The first day was slow. Even Blank in his optimism couldn’t help feeling down. Feeling an unresistable gutwrenching notion that this was the prelude to the end of the world. So they set camp outside of Dark Forest, started a fire, and hunched moodily around it, watching the flames sketch out the vague phantoms of the future. Death was prevelent in most minds.
That was the ultimate fear, wasn’t it? That was what he had really been afraid of when he woke alone in the forest. He was vulnerable…and that he was going to die. Death sucked. Blank poked the fire angrily and a few sparks retaliated. And it was still quiet…
“You know…usually in this situation, soldiers tell their girlfriends that this may be the last chance they ever get to screw. I hear it works pretty well…Too bad we don’t have our...” Dammit, trying to lighten the mood and he brought up an equally depressing subject.
“You’re still thinking about sex?” Steiner looked up long enough to scowl at Blank.
“It’s better than thinking about death I’d say.” Blank defended himself, “I mean…which would you rather think of, going home to your fine, warm-bodied, girlfriend…or going back to a corpse? We don’t have to think negatively.”
“The odds are up.”
“And your head is down.” Blank sighed and swiped at his hair, throwing his stick in the fire, “Screw it, I’m not getting through to you. Just remember, I’m aiming on staying alive long enough to get to Lindblum. Which means if we get in trouble, I don’t want you all just sitting around thinking about dying. Got it?”
“Yes, sir.” Steiner’s voice was as dry as ever. Blank growled and stood up.
“Fine.” Blank looked around the circle. Steiner…Amarant, his eyes set intently on the fire. Freya and Fratley huddled together. The rest of the crew, head in hands or wandering around aimlessly. Bah…despair despair despair! They needed something to cheer them up…a song! Or a…poem or something. Ahah!
“After our nuptials, shall I become no more than a puppet? A mindless puppet, never to laugh, never to cry? I wish to live my life under the sky…at times I shall laugh, at other times cry. For no life is more insincere than that lived as a masquerade…”
“So much consideration thou has given it! But worry not! Cast away thy trappings of royalty, and I shall swaddle thou in a gown of pure love! Never again shall I part from thee…pray my love, make me thy canary to keep forever in the cage of thy bosom.”
“Blank…” Steiner sighed as he turned again to reprimand the redheaded chatterbox. Blank was perched atop a log, his arms held open to the sky…and a look of intense concentration on his face. “What, did you memorize the whole play?”
Blank didn’t move for a moment…then he looked down at Steiner, “Dammit, you made me forget the next line.”
“It wasn’t even yours.”
“Neither of them was mine…I never got to play the lover on stage…Baku always made me the traitor…I’m not a traitor though. That’s the furthest from the truth.”
“You’re right.” Amarant grunted as he turned his frozen countenance toward the actor. “You are the deranged lover, everyone knows that. Only someone truly in love could be as optimistic as you.”
“H-hey, good sir! What about me?” Steiner objected with a gravely offended expression on his face.
“Steiner…you must see how your feelings for Beatrix now are different from the feelings you had for her ten years ago. It has turned from love to commitment. It always does.”
“Always?” Blank rejoined the conversation with a laugh.. “And this is from our love expert…from a planet that doesn’t even own women.”
“I’m not a lover.” Amarant shrugged and looked down into the fire again. “I never will be…I’m too cynical regarding humans. I’ve had a good deal of time to watch you and how relationships progress…or disintegrate.”
Silence for a moment. Then Blank spoke up, “What is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to get me depressed?”
“No. Just being a realist.”
“An asshole more like it. We’re imperfect creatures…we can’t help it that nothing ever works out for us.”
“Some things do.” Freya looked up from her comfortable position under her lover’s arm. Three annoyed and one loving glance were cast at her.
“True.”
“Well…” Blank chewed on his cheek for a moment, thinking about Eiko. How much did he really love her? Did he love her too much…what would he do if he found out she was…dead? Or if he came back to her and she didn’t love him anymore? “What you say is true…as of now.” Never. “But as of….now! I’m saying that I can be whatever the hell I want to be, and I choose to be truly…truly in love. Forever.”
That drew quite a bit of silence, they all just sort of stared at him as if what he had said was amazing. Maybe he was made out to be a public speaker? “Aw…that’s sweet.” Freya smiled and punched Fratley’s arm in the same motion, “Why don’t you ever say things like that?”
“You never give me the chance…” Fratley grumbled, pulling Freya closer to him again. She complied with a laugh. A few of the crewmembers, now out of the uniforms and moping about out of the firelight, chewed on that for a moment…then continued moping.
Amarant dropped to his back near the fire and toyed with his poisoned claws. “I’ll take first watch, you all can rest for a while…nothing out there short of Kuja will get past me.”
Sleep? The thought had almost escaped Blank’s mind. He had almost assumed they were just going to stand and discuss meaningless issues for the rest of the night. But…it was a good thing, resting their minds to start anew…optimistically maybe? The next day. Slowly Blank dropped to his knees and watched Steiner, the big balding knight with wistful eyes, do the same.
It was so…strange, learning more about these people he had never pursued relationships with. Amarant, silent, but profound when he came out of his shell…Fratley and Freya, the kind couple, brave and faithful to the end…Steiner, a mental wreck when he was two feet from Beatrix.
Blank exhaled a deep breath, blew a kiss to the air, wiped a tear from his eye, and curled up to sleep.
He was sure that in a month, when everything was settled, they would all get over it.