Must See RPG
By DK
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RPG TIMES
An Important Press Release From NBC.....
As the cancellation of Seinfeld and Friends, along with the collapse of ER, has crippled our Thursday lineup, we've decided to switch demographics and fish for a whole new audience- the hardcore RPG fanatic!
Start off with a sizzle at 7:00 with the stunning-
"Sein"-al Fantasy
That's right! It's the return of your favorite Final Fantasy characters, only now they're ALL whiny, self-absorbed jerks (looks like you lost that monopoly, Yuffie)! You'll laugh till you stop when that light-hearted free spirit from Wutai marches into Cloud's apartment uninvited to steal some materia! Thrill to the triangle romance between our hero and his two lovely lady friends, Tifa and Aeris. But uh-oh! That cute little Ancient has such an annoying laugh. Of course, the buxom Tifa is all woman - except for her huge MAN HANDS!!!!
Find out why Sephiroth isn't "Master of his Domain" and how his ma Lucrecia caught him with a picture of Scarlett! Listen to some of Cloud's hilarious stand-up comedy- "So I was going to visit my hometown on a mission-yada yada yada- my boss goes crazy, everybody dies, and I find out I'm a Jenova Test Subject with a set of false memories. What is the deal- with Turks? Why do they call them Turks? They're not from Turkey."
You'll love it!!!!
Then, at 7:30, you can't miss-
Just "Suikoden" Me
Teo McDohl's life is in a mess- when his son began working for him, things started to go crazy. It was only a few weeks before his son left the Scarlet Moon Empire Paper and joined the Liberation Offices across the street! Now, it seems like poor Teo can't go outside without being attacked by one of his son's 107 angry cronies! You'll laugh your head off as journalism, rebellion, and patricide come together in one side-splitting half hour! Just wait until you see what happens when Teo finds a story claiming that he's a cross-dresser, written by none other than Gremio! You'll be a first-hand witness to the exploits of Windy the sorceress as she transforms countless paparazzi into huge dragons! You won't believe your eyes when every person on Teo's staff gets beaten up by his son- then leaves to join the rival paper.
SPECIAL PREVIEW OF PILOT: When workers in the Liberation offices get lax about meeting deadlines, Teo's son threatens them with the Soul Eater to speed up production.
Then, at 8:00, get ready for a double dose of......
"Fei"-ser
Fei Fong Wong is a brilliant psychiatrist with one litte problem- his other personality is a psychotic murderer! The psychosis seems to run in the family however, as his father is also three people: Khan, Wiseman, and Grahf-yet another killer! You simply won't belive the hilarity that insues when this cast of neurotic homicidal yuppies comes together! Meet Fei's whiny friend Ramsus, who can't seem to do anything but complain about his failures- and pine over pretty housekeeper Miang! You'll be entranced by the relationship that develops between Fei and Elly. It seems like nothing's new! Are they just going through the motions? When deadly robots meet self-absorbed spinless fops, you'll swear you're looking at fine art.
Finally, at 9:00, prepare yourself for the stunning new drama......
Chrono Trigg- "ER"
Everybody's favorite time travellers finally decide to settle down- as emergency room doctors in Guardia castle! Watch, enthralled, as Crono, Lucca, Marle, and the rest work to save lives! It's a tension-packed hour of in-your-face drama! You'll cry when you find out that Frog is accused of giving patients warts and Robo is charged with incompetence! Magus is a good doctor- it's just that his methods are a little unorthodox! You'll be glued to your set!!!
SPECIAL PREVIEW OF PILOT: Drunkenness prevails at the Millenium Fair, causing many serious accidents. Then, when a critically injured Lavos is brought to the ER, our heroes must work to save the life of their mortal enemy-and the destroyer of all life on the planet!