Guardia's Finest Chapter 3

By Captain Gaul

Magus was less than pleased to have visitors. I had the feeling that maybe he wasn't a morning person, and offered him some coffee from my hip flask (yes, I carry coffee in there, not liquor. And that is my ONLY hip flask.) Boy, if looks could kill....

Robo and Magus discussed the matter upstairs while the rest of our party retired downstairs to Magus's den.

"Yeah, he's a dark wizard, but couldn't he afford a better decorator?"

There was no indication of how things upstairs were going. Magus was in an extremely vile temper, and the only one who could last thirty seconds of conversations was Robo, who had the ability to deactivate his emotion program.

An hour passed, and after the third Ping-Pong match (the table was purchased for Slash and Flea, but that's a different story), Crono threw up his hands in disgust and headed for Epoch.

"Crono! Where are you going?"

His answer included a great deal of profanity, but basically he said that he didn't want to waste time, and that he was going to use the TimeGate to retrieve Glenn and Ayla.

As I sipped a cup of coffee, I reminisced over the last hour.


Spekkio had refused me the gift of magic. He called me a loser, then pulled off some crazy pyrotechnic stunt that threw me through the door. I wasn't conscious for the rest, but Old Man Gaspar said that they could probably hear Lucca's laughing all the way back to the Day of Lavos.

The whole team made several rude comments about the fact that I had been somewhat responsible for the destruction of their precious time machine.

"Gee, it's too bad we've got to fool around with these gates!"

"I KNOW, too bad we don't have Epoch around anymore."

They may not teach us humor in the academy, but I know sarcasm when I heard it.


My reminiscing was interrupted when a voice said "So, Captain."

My mind fell back into reality.


"Well, if you're going to tag along with us now, we might as well get to know each other."

"Princess Nadia?"

"I know you're a captain of the guard, one my father thinks highly of, but that's about all, really. Tell me about you."

So we chatted. Kids? No. Wife? No, but a fiancee. How'd I get in this line of work? I misread the newspaper article and applied for the wrong job. Why was I an officer in Guardia instead of my native Porre? No police brutality laws in Guardia. You're joking, right? Ha-ha, maybe, maybe not. Heh-heh, heh....

It was the coffee. Normally I'm a little more sociable, but nothing kills conversations like me on coffee. It wasn't even espresso.

Finally, finally, hours after Crono returned with Cave-woman and the Knight Who Until Recently Was Amphibious, Robo asked us to come upstairs.

"It's about time."

For once, I agreed with Lucca.


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